Bat Outta Hell
by HockeyGirl35
Summary: I turned this into an Arrow story but this actually happened to my older brother and I. Slade and Oliver are probably pretty OOC because they're actions and dialogue are my brother's and my actions and dialogue when this happened. Anyway, hope you enjoy anyway! I had fun writing it!


Author's Note: Alright, so everything with the bat actually happened to my older brother and me at his house. I'm not sure if Australia has bats but for this story, they do. Everything Slade does and says during the bat part was actually said and done by my brother while all of Oliver's actions and dialogue were mine. Almost all of Digg's dialogue came from when my brother called his wife to tell her about the bat. Oh, and there was a lot more cursing when this happened in real life than what I actually added to this story! =) Anyway, I hope you enjoy this incredibly long one-shot!

Oliver steered his rented car up the driveway and parked, shutting off the engine and looking over his destination, a home on the coast of Western Australia. It was a fairly modest house, two stories, a dark, natural wood exterior with a rounded roof. Brick-red tile was laid to make the floor of the covered porch that encircled the house. The green lawn, dotted with Red Carabeen trees, stretched out from the edge of the tile, down both sides of the driveway, and a mid-sized hedge separated the front yard from the driveway. A stone-step path led the way from the two car garage located directly in front of Oliver through a small opening in the hedge and to the front door.

Oliver grabbed his duffel bag from the passenger side of the car and opened his door, climbing out and taking a deep breath, enjoying the smell of the beach that the house sat on the edge of. He didn't think he would want to smell the ocean again after his 5 year adventure but this was vastly different from the island of Lian Yu. This was tropical and warm, reminding Oliver of the family vacations they used to take when he was younger. Although he had traveled extensively with his father, this was his first time in Australia.

A voice to his right broke him from his thoughts, "Hey mate, you travel all this way to hang out outside?"

Oliver smiled and walked up to his best friend that he hadn't seen in almost two years, dropping his bag and pulling him into a quick hug.

Slade chuckled and hugged him back before releasing him, keeping an arm around his shoulders as he asked, "How you doin', kid?"

Oliver had called Slade numerous times since they left the island, keeping him up to date on how the vigilante business was going, so Slade had already heard about Malcolm, the attack on Starling City, and Tommy's death. In fact, that's why he had encouraged Oliver to take this trip to see him in the first place. Oliver always called him when he was having a rough time and during a particularly bad night he had confessed that because of his experiences on the island and his new life as vigilante, Slade was the only person in Oliver's life who actually knew him and therefore the only person in his life he could fully trust. Slade had heard about the bodyguard Diggle and the IT girl called Felicity but apparently Oliver kept his personal life, past and present, to himself. Slade had often heard Oliver sound rather grim during their calls but he had never heard his young friend completely break down like he did when he called Slade the night of Tommy's death. He had stayed on the phone with Oliver until early the next morning, trying his best to comfort the kid from half a world away. The protectiveness he'd developed during the four and a half years he'd spent looking out for Oliver apparently hadn't gone away because he'd been ready to hop on the next flight to Starling City. When he told Oliver this however, Oliver had discouraged it, saying he wasn't ready to answer all the questions about his time on the island that Slade's presence would raise with his friends and family. Slade finally agreed but called Oliver, or Oliver would call him, every day. After about a week and a half of hearing the weariness and sadness steadily sinking into Oliver's voice, Slade had all but demanded that if Oliver refused to let Slade come there, Oliver needed to fly to Slade's home in Western Australia for a vacation. Oliver had half-heartedly protested, saying there were names that needed to be crossed off the list but Slade's stubbornness had quickly won out; Oliver had caught a flight out of the U.S. the next morning, and so here they were.

Oliver shrugged as he answered, "I'm alright. You know, it's been better but...I'm alright." He smiled again at Slade but Slade noticed that the light in Oliver's eyes had dimmed.

Nodding, Slade squeezed his shoulder understandingly before changing the subject, "Come on, I'll show you where you can leave your stuff and then we can eat."

Oliver grabbed his bag and, Slade's arm still slung over his shoulders, started towards the front door as he teasingly remarked, "I sure hope your cooking skills have improved since the island."

Slade mock-scowled at him as he replied, "Says the guy that never made anything that had to be cooked over a fire." Slade's expression turned thoughtful, "Actually, did you even make a single meal while we were there?"

Oliver laughed, "Well...I...uh...hey, this is a beautiful house!"

Slade grinned and raised an eyebrow, "That's what I thought." He opened the front door and Oliver followed him inside, looking around with a keen interest to finally see where his friend lived. The inside was just as impressive as the outside, with an open floor plan. To the right of the front door was the dining table with the kitchen just beyond that, a bar counter the only thing separating it from the rest of the house. Directly ahead was the living room, a flat screen tv set against the wall, a brown leather couch in front with a matching recliner on either side. Oliver smirked when he saw the Xbox 360 and the stack of games sitting beside the tv. And Slade made fun of him for acting like a kid...

The floor was tile made to look like natural stone and as Oliver followed Slade farther into the house, he noticed the walls were decorated with pictures of different military weapons and vehicles and groups of guys in Australian military uniforms. Looking closer at one such photo, Oliver identified Slade in the middle of the group. Oliver figured at some point, he would need to introduce Slade and Digg to each other; they'd probably get along great.

He caught up to Slade who led him up a set of wooden stairs to the open loft that took up about half the floor plan. This was where Slade had his bed set up, along with his desk and computer. There were windows along the wall beside the desk, facing towards the ocean. There was a wall separating the loft into halves and Slade and Oliver walked through the door to the other side of the loft which held the spare bedroom. Oliver already felt comfortable here; the whole floor of the loft was cherry wood with thin throw rugs placed strategically around the rooms. The bed was already made up and faced the two doors that led to a balcony which looked out on the backyard and the beach right beyond that. The room wasn't overly furnished but there was a dresser, a nightstand with a lamp beside the bed, and a wicker lawn chair out on the balcony. The walls here, like the rest of the house, were decorated with military pictures and maps of the world.

Slade pointed at a door along the far wall, "That's the bathroom, there are already towels and shower stuff in there. There's also another bathroom downstairs if you run out of anything. Unpack, take a shower, whatever, and meet me on the back porch for dinner."

Oliver dropped his duffel bag on the bed and turned to his friend, "This is..." he didn't know how to let Slade know how much this meant to him so he simply settled on, "Thanks."

Slade nodded and smiled at him before turning around and walking back downstairs.

Oliver decided to wait to unpack his bag but he did pull out a pair of blue board shorts and a t-shirt and headed to the shower. It had been a long trip and he felt much better after he had washed and changed into clean clothes. He walked down the stairs and followed the smell of barbeque to the back porch where he found Slade just turning off the grill and setting a plate stacked with steaks on the polished wooden table beside a bowl of potato salad. Gesturing for Oliver to sit down, Slade walked over to the cooler and grabbed a couple cokes, setting one in front of Oliver before taking a seat beside him. Oliver had been taking in the view from the backyard; it was a green lawn like the front but this one stretched in a slight slope to the sand of the beach, with the aqua blue waves lightly rolling in beyond that.

The two chatted while they ate dinner, catching up and watching the sun go down over the ocean. Slade told him that he had reenlisted in the Australian military and expected to become a drill instructor at one of the recruit depots. This caused Oliver to start laughing as he remembered his own time training with Slade, which led to friendly insults being tossed back and forth.

Finally, the stress of the last two weeks and the amount of traveling he'd done caught up to Oliver and he couldn't hold back the yawns any longer. Slade had cleaned up the remains of their dinner and suggested they head back inside and watch a movie. He knew Oliver was tired but the kid was acting like he'd rather pull an all-nighter than be alone, even though Slade would be sleeping just one room over. Slade figured if they watched a movie, it would be an excuse for him to stay close enough that Oliver felt comfortable going to sleep without Oliver actually having to admit he didn't want to be on his own right now, which would completely go against the independent, lone-wolf persona he'd built for himself since leaving the island.

They headed inside, both grabbing pillows from their respective rooms and meeting in the living room. Slade tossed his pillow onto the recliner while Oliver got settled on the couch. He had also brought a thin blanket from his room but it was so warm, he left it in a pile on the other end of the couch.

Slade rummaged through his collection of DVDs before pulling out a horror movie, "How about this? It's called Sinister, just bought it so I haven't seen it yet."

Oliver nodded, "Sounds good, I haven't seen it either."

Slade popped the movie into the Xbox, turned off all the lights, and settled into the recliner. The tv screen gave the only illumination in the house and even though they were both tired, the movie had them both riveted to the screen. They were watching as the main character slowly creeped into a dark attic when, seemingly out of nowhere, a bat flew into the living room right between the side of the couch Oliver was leaning against and Slade's recliner. Oliver tried to yell, "BAT!" but it came out more a scream.

At the same time, Slade yelled, "WHAT THE FU-!"

The bat was still haphazardly flitting around the living room, close to the two men's heads. Oliver grasped the bottom of the blanket and pulled it over his head incase the bat decided to dive-bomb him again and he peeked out the small opening.

The bat had seemingly trapped Slade in his recliner. Every time he tried to go one way, the bat would hover right next to his face, if he jerked the other direction, the bat would follow. Slade had his hand up in the air as if he would swat the bat and he was still yelling profanities at the top of his lungs.

The sight made Oliver burst out laughing but that was short-lived as the bat turned towards him, swooping so close to the blanket that Oliver was convinced it would land on him. At the same time, Oliver and Slade rolled onto the floor, movie forgotten although it was still playing in the background.

Slade crawled to the light switch and flipped it on, dropping to his stomach immediately afterward.

Oliver was still laughing but managed to gasp out, "Where is it? Where'd it go?"

Slade was still in shock and breathing hard, although he was laughing too, "I dunno...do you see it? I dunno where it went!" he grabbed a broom from the corner and cautiously raised himself to a crouch, Oliver doing the same thing and both looking wearily around the house.

Movement from the kitchen caught Oliver's attention, "I see it! It's in the kitchen!"

They both half crouched, half ran to the kitchen. Since Slade was the one with the broom, Oliver graciously let him go first.

Slade held the broom like a baseball bat and slowly walked in before coming to an abrupt halt, "I see it!"

Oliver quickly came up behind him, "Where? Where is it?"

"It's on the shelf!" Slade exclaimed, "It's just sitting on the SHELF!"

Oliver laughed at the high pitch Slade's voice had taken on and looked towards the shelf but didn't see anything, "I don't see it!"

Slade looked at him incredulously, "You don't see that? IT'S SITTING ON THE SHELF!"

Looking closer, Oliver finally made out the small, black body of the bat sitting beside a fruit bowl full of bananas. He jumped back, "Alright, get it! Get it!"

Slade took a two-handed grip on the broom and swung it down hard on the bat. Due to the shelf getting in the way, he only succeeded in scaring it behind the fruit bowl. He shoved the broom behind the bowl, trying to crush the bat. He pulled the broom back, "I don't know where he is..."

Oliver looked closely but didn't see anything either, "Maybe it's behind the bowl."

Slade shrugged and set the broom against the counter, slowly creeping towards the shelf. He eased the fruit bowl to one side. Just as he moved the bowl, the bat made a quick hop to the edge of the shelf, right next to Slade's hand, "OH SHIT, THERE IT IS!" Slade screamed. He jumped back, nearly tripping himself to the floor and knocking the broom over. "He's in there still! He's still in there!"

Oliver burst out laughing again at the panic in Slade's voice, even though he had jumped clear out of the kitchen when the bat sprung out, "Kill him!"

Slade looked at him, eyes wide, "I can't!" He looked around and grabbed the syringe he used to inject meat from the counter. He started slowly towards the bat but stopped as Oliver remarked, "You're gonna get bit."

Dropping the syringe, Slade took a couple steps closer to the shelf, "The bloody thing is freaking huge!" He reached out and grabbed the fruit bowl, moving it to the counter so they could better see the bat. They both stood staring at it for a moment before Slade turned to Oliver with a breathless laugh, "So mate, how you wanna go about this?" Without waiting for a reply, he spun around, grabbing an empty popcorn bag before walking towards the bat again.

Oliver could see what he was about to do and smirked, "Oh yeah, this'll be good."

At the same time, Slade backed up, "This is a bad idea. Bad idea."

Oliver spoke up, "Go get a towel, wrap it up in that."

Slade glanced at him, "Eff that! I'm not bathing in that after that thing touched it!" He paused and continued, "You guard him, I've got this." He turned and walked out of the kitchen.

Oliver, barely containing his laughter, rolled his eyes and nodded. He burst out laughing when Slade reappeared carrying a cast iron tea kettle that looked like it came from the 1800s, "What are you gonna do, brew him some tea?"

Slade set the kettle on the counter, "You're right, bad idea."

Slade left the room again and reappeared this time holding a small canister with a sprayer attached. The label read Ortho. Slade looked over at Oliver, "This stuff is poison. I got it to keep bugs out."

At the scratching noise, they both glanced over at the shelf in time to see the bat pulling itself towards the edge, trying to take flight.

"HOLY SH-WHERE'S MY BROOM?!" Slade yelled. He spun around and grabbed the broom, proceeding to beat the bat.

Unfortunately, one violent whack sent the bat from the shelf to the floor near where Oliver was standing, "JESUS CHRIST!" he yelled, jumping backwards and slamming into some cupboards. "Did you kill him? Is he dead?"

Slade poked the bat with his broom and when it didn't move, he grabbed the canister of Ortho, dousing the bat in the liquid. He was pretty sure the bat was dead so he dropped the sprayer, leaning against the counter next to Oliver. Breathing heavily, they stared at each other for a moment before breaking into laughter.

Oliver gasped out, "I can't believe it flew into the living room, right into our faces!"

Slade replied, "I know! It trapped me in the recliner, I was like, which was is he gonna go?!"

Movement on the floor grabbed their attention. Apparently, bug poison did not work on bats because this one was trying to fly again. Slade quickly grabbed the broom and whacked the bat as hard as he could, and it finally went still.

They both leaned over the body, inspecting it. Slade glanced up, "Shouldn't we, like, put a piece of silver through him or something?"

Oliver laughed again, "That's werewolves. Vampires are stakes...I think."

Next came the fun part of removing it. Oliver grabbed gloves and wrapped up the body in three plastic bags, then dumped the pile into another plastic bag and tied the top. They took it outside and tossed it into the garbage can, along with the gloves Oliver had used to grab it. They went back to the living room, both falling on the couch.

Oliver's cell phone rang; Diggle's number popped up on the screen. Oliver picked it up and after Diggle updated Oliver on everything happening back in Starling City, he asked, "You been relaxing?"

Oliver laughed and, putting on the call on speaker phone, Oliver and Slade quickly updated Digg on the events of the last hour, "It came out here like...well, like a bat outta hell, I swear to God."

Diggle chuckled, "So, what, it was a fruit bat?"

Slade spoke up, "This was NOT a fruit bat!" he paused, "Is a vampire bat a real thing?"

Oliver snorted as Digg replied, "Yeah, they feed on rodents and stuff."

Slade snapped his fingers, "Boom, this thing was a vampire bat!"

Oliver grabbed Slade's Iphone off the end table and used the internet to Google Image vampire bats. He handed the phone to Slade and Slade began flipping through the pictures, stopping on a picture of a huge black bat, "That's what we saw!" He continued flipping through the pictures, "Yep. Yep. That's what we saw." He stopped on another picture, "THAT'S what we saw!" Oliver looked at the picture and burst out laughing. It was a picture of a giant black gargoyle with spread wings and glowing red eyes.

Talking to Diggle, Slade remarked, "The thing flew in and I swear, at one point, it looked me in the eye! It stopped and looked me in the face!"

Diggle and Oliver both burst out laughing as Slade continued, "Then it flew in and landed on the shelf where I keep my bananas."

Diggle, still laughing said, "Is that right?"

Slade replied, "It did! I was gonna make bread with those!"

Oliver remarked, "You should probably throw those away."

Slade nodded vigorously, "I'm going to...and I'm gonna burn that shelf."

That sent the other two into fits of laughter again.

Apparently contemplating something, Slade spoke up again, "I don't think I should keep bananas that long anymore. I think that may be what brought him in here. I should seriously think about how long I keep fruit out."

Finally recovering, Diggle asked, "So, once you found him, how did you take care of him?"

Oliver and Slade looked at each other before Slade said, "Beat the piss outta him with a broom then sprayed him with Ortho."

The only answer they got from Digg was him busting up laughing again.

Oliver told him, "You don't understand how scary that was for us! It came flying out here and it just, like...it just hovered!"

Slade jumped in, "It was literally like...I thought it was gonna turn into a man and stand up in front of us! That's the way it looked!"

Diggle finally calmed down enough to say, "So let me get this straight, a little bat harmlessly flying around the house was enough to send an Australian special forces soldier and a dangerous vigilante into panic?"

Oliver and Slade looked at each other again, not really sure how to respond because, yeah, Digg had it right.

"Well, you didn't see it," Oliver answered.

Another chuckle from Digg and the two said goodbye. Oliver set his phone on the end table and looked at the tv, noting the end credits of the movie rolling on the screen.

Slade turned off the movie and switched to a replay of a lacrosse game before sitting on the recliner again, glancing nervously around the ceiling. He looked over at Oliver, "I swear, the things on the island weren't half as bad as that."

Oliver smirked but replied, "Actually, that's the most fun I've had in a long time. I forgot how much we kick butt when we team up."

Slade grinned, "Yeah, we just took down a bat with practically our bare hands. We're bad-asses." He settled back into his recliner, falling asleep pretty quickly.

Oliver grabbed his blanket off the floor and laid down on the couch again, glancing over at Slade and smiling softly. This was why Slade was his best friend; Oliver had been having one of the worst times of his life, yet not even a full day with Slade had passed and Oliver already felt better, able to truly laugh again instead of the fake cheerfulness he tried to put on for the benefit of his sister and mother. He was far from being completely whole but with a friend like that, he knew he'd get through this eventually. Slade would make sure of that.


End file.
